Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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