If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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