i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
