Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
