You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
