So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
