That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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