So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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