Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
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