u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
