Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
