I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
