i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
