Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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