So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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