I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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