the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize