This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
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