I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
