Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
vagina is talking i cant
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
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