Nicole vs. Life
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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