Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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