I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
