They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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