Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
