I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
