Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
