she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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