Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
