So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
