saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My bed smells like the plague
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
