Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm both gender and math confused
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
