i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
