this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He better not be in your backpack
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
