Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
