I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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