She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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