my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
