My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize