You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
