Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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