so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
