i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
