It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
