he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
