Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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