I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck