girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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