I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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