I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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