So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
