I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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