just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
