so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
