My first STD was from a foam party
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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