is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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