The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
