does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
