I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
