There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Terrible idea I love it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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