Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
