I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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