I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
