Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
