I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize